What is this thing called Love?
by The Futile Vinny
Summary: A/U - World Academy/ Ivan has always been known as 'heartless' and 'cold' by his peers, but when he meets one of the new students, he can't quite grasp what the feeling inside his chest is.
1. Chapter 1

**Woot! First APH FanFiction. Even if it's crappy. See, this is a role play that I had done with some random kid on Habbo, except with a plot twist. I changed the characters' names, and altered some of the plot. This story is going to take a while to finish. School is not quite over yet, and I already have 17 pages written in my notebook, yet I'm not even finished it. Since I'm a procrastinator, that adds to the wait.**

**I first wanted to make this a one-shot; but it was too long. _;;;;**

**WARNINGS: OOC-ness, Human names used, a little bit of swearing. Read on your own behalf.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters, or Habbo. **

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><p><em>Beep-beep, beep-beep.<em>

The purple-eyed Russian male groaned as the sounds of his alarm clock rang through his small room. He turned slightly, and smacked the clock on its head to stop the high pitched shrieks. Slowly, he opened his sleepy eyes, escaping from the nightmare he was just in, only to reveal a new one. One he couldn't leave so easily. With that, Ivan sighed, and slowly sat up in his musty cot, his tattered blanket effortlessly floating to the ground as he stood. He trudged towards the pile of clothes his sister, Katyusha, had dropped off the night before.

The corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly, and then stiffened in place. It had been so long since he had seen his beloved big sister, so he had been thrilled to see her when she showed up out of the blue the night before. He had wished she could stay longer; but alas, her boss did not know she was there, so she could only drop off the clothes, and scramble back to the big man.

Another sigh escaped the large man's pale lips, as he slipped a beige shirt over his toned chest. The light that was peaking through the ripped curtains of his room danced around on the door, as if telling him he had to leave to make it to school. Ivan watched the sun beam through the corner of his amethyst eyes. He dreaded leaving the comfort of his home to walk down those thug-filled streets.

Ivan had lived in an apartment in one of the worst areas in town. It was known as a red-light district, so he often saw those poor women getting scooped up by desperate, narcissistic wannabes. He wished that they could have lived a better life than they were now; but unfortunately, that was the life choice that those women had picked. Most likely earning the money so they could kill their innards even more by those chemicals called drugs, while greedy diseases ate away at their outsides.

As the outside of his home was filled with prostitutes, gangsters, and whores, the inside of his home was broken, old, musty, and mold could be found in almost every square-inch that was accessible. The walls were white, or at least, they were until they were lathered in dirt, and oily fingerprints. It seemed as though there were not a clean spot in the entire building. The fact that this was all that some people could afford crushed him. He had always wished that people could live peacefully, and not have to worry about economic issues. He had realized long ago that life was not easy, and to prosper, you had to fight hard, and even bring people down to pull yourself up. Though, the fact that he was living in such conditions left no effect on him, he only appeared to be concerned about the well-being of others.

Ivan snapped out of his thoughts and continued to get dressed. He pulled on his blue plaid slacks, and a off-white sweater with a blue stripe on each cuff, as well as along the deep 'v' shaped neck line. He headed out of his room, and into the living room. Like his bedroom, the furniture in the living room was coming apart. The couch had stuffing and springs coming out from every direction, the cupboard doors in his 'kitchen' ( a stove, fridge, sink, cupboards, and a small counter in the corner of his living room) were all falling off their hinges. The window along the dirt encrusted wall was cracked, and would break if a bird flew into it. He dragged his feet towards the refrigerator; his eyes drooping from the lack of sleep he had gotten the night before. He placed one of his large hands on the door handle, and lightly pulled, yet the piece of curved metal had broken off of the beige fridge, making something inside of the Russian snap. In one swift movement, he whipped the handle at the already-cracked window while releasing a loud yell that had risen in his throat, causing the glass to shatter, and the handle to plummet four floors down to the street waiting below. The noise from the crowded streets below filled the room, making its way into the Russian's ears.

Ivan tried achingly to calm himself by taking deep breaths. His teeth clenched, and his hands curled into tight fists, he stood the the bland room, staring at the pieces of shattered glass that were scattered around his. They had come close to hitting him, yet he did not care. He was too overwhelmed with anger to care about anything at the moment. Within a few moments, Ivan put on his tan trench-coat, along with his off-white scarf, and in his hand, he clutched his book bag, then proceeded slammed the front door behind him as he stormed down the dark hallway, listening as some of his neighbours yelled towards him about the ruckus; but the words meant nothing to him. He focused on making his way to school without killing someone in his vast amounts of anger bottled up inside of him. Taking yet another breath, he braced himself before stepping into the crisp winter air.

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><p><strong>Ta-da~ Chapter one. 8D shot**

**I know, I know. I suck at writing. Don't remind me. **

**So far, this doesn't really resemble the RP; but I thought, "Hey, why not introduce the readers to Ivan and his lifestyle. 8D". I'unno. I personally find it easy to comprehend a story if I understand the motives behind a character's actions.**

**I feel like this chapter is too short; but I couldn't really figure out a way to extend it, not to mention I'm practically brain dead, ATM.**

**If you could review it, and tell me what could be improved, that would be absolutely lovely. **

**Don't worry. I plan on updating soon, since it's almost the weekend. Because I don't have a social life, I can dedicate my weekend to typing up the next few chapters. 8D**


	2. Chapter 2

**I fixed some of the flaws in the other chapter, so now it fits in with this one.**

**WARNINGS: OOC-ness, mild coarse language, and some America/Belarus /shot**

**Since it's a romance/angst story, I don't really feel obliged to warn you this chapter is filled with angst... Sorta. |D;;;**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia, or World Academy.**

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><p>As Ivan walked along the icy tundra on his way to the academy, and with every breath he took, he felt the cool winter air freeze the inside of his wind pipe. This feeling was normal for him. Of course, he had grown up in one of the coldest places known to him. He could feel the chilled oxygen eat away at his flesh as the wind blew, and the snow crystals swirled around him. To block out some of the cold, Ivan buried his face in his scarf. As the giant castle-like building came in sight of his purple orbs, his face flushed. He could already tell that his little sister was waiting outside the wooden doors for him. Not only did he want to stay clear from her; he felt guilty that his dear sister would cause herself to get ill just for him. Even if Ivan was scared senseless of the girl, that did not mean he didn't care for her.<p>

Ivan stopped in his tracks as he did not want to be seen. He was deciding whether or not he should go. He did not want her waiting there forever; but he did not want her to disturb him by following him around all day.

Natalia stood patiently outside the double doors. The cold air moved through her veins. By now she was used to the freezing weather and did not budge. She had not been allowed to visit Ivan in his home due to his living conditions, so she at least wanted to see him at the academy. When the wind blew, it sent a shiver up her spine. Of course since she was a female, she was to wear the female's uniform that happened to be a red plaid overall-like dress that was mid-thigh length. Even with her high socks, she had a patch of bare skin right above her knees. She crossed her arms to try her best to heat herself up, and since she was full of determination, she refused to go inside. Alfred had tried to sweet talk her inside, but when she refused; he left her with his jacket.

She had no time for that fool, nor did she have time for classes. She had to see her brother. She had been deprived of him for so long. Natalia did not know if Ivan would show up at school that day since he often didn't. His living conditions regularly left him sick at home, so only Katyusha could visit him once in a while to take care of him when he was bedridden. The fact that Natalia couldn't even visit Ivan when he was sick bothered her to no end. She would have snuck over; but she didn't know where he lived. Katyusha had never bothered to tell her 'for the sake of his health'. Of course, Natalia did not understand. How could visiting him disturb his health? For all she knew, he could be living in a sewer, or under a rock.

She let out a deep growl as she continued to wait in the frigid winter air. She was getting quite impatient. She looked at the light pink watch that was lightly wrapped around her petite wrist, only to reveal she had been waiting out there for almost an hour. Finally Alfred decided enough was enough, and tried again to get her inside. He opened one of the large doors, causing Natalia to jump. She then turned to look at him, and shot daggers in his direction with her icy glare. Ignoring the look he was receiving, Alfred proceeded to do what he planned to. He walked up to her and snaked one of his strong arms around her tiny waist.

"C'mon, Natalia, face it. He's not coming." He said gently. He knew that he had to be careful when talking about Ivan. Since he cared about Natalia, he could not say something heartless such as "Damn Commie" when around her, even if he hated the Russian.

Natalia felt heat rise in her pale cheeks as his arm snaked around her; but did not change her exterior, though it was obvious in her eyes that she was longing her brother. She was so desperate to see his face, it was almost unbearable. When she was away from him for as long as she had, she could feel something inside of her snap. Usually she then tried that much harder to see him, and when she failed, she'd break down. Natalia would never admit it; but she was grateful that she had Alfred there to care for her when she was in her depressive state. She was sure that Ivan didn't have any clue as to how much he was truly hurting her inside.

Little did she release, Ivan knew. Ivan knew that he was crushing his little sister's heart into pieces. He felt like a monster; though, he also thought she was a monster. When he refused to marry her, she become very malicious, and abusive. Of course, that's what Katyusha had meant when she told Natalia that seeing the Russian would effect his health.

The tall man let out a deep sigh. He couldn't stand going to school when he could run into Natalia at any given moment, even if it would give him a chance to beat the shit out of the man he despised, her boyfriend, Alfred. He had felt extremely outraged when Katyusha announced the 'good news' that he had ended up hurting his beloved sister. He didn't know how he could live with himself. He had almost hurt her enough to hospitalize her. Every once in a while, he would replay the events in his mind, from the abuse, to the tear stained face that belonged to his sister, as well as those petrified shrieks of pain, and fear that still rang through his ears.

Ivan soon snapped out of his thoughts when he realized how angry he had became. He then took a deep breath, and continued heading to the rather large building after seeing Natalia finally go inside. He could not stop the past, and if he wanted her to leave him alone, he had to accept Alfred's help, no matter how much he hated that his sister loved his enemy, and reversed.

Ivan made his way up the granite stair way. He took another deep breath as he pulled one of the large doors open. He could feel the heat from inside on his face in an instant. He made his way down the empty hallways, the sound of his shoes on the stone floors echoed in the hollowness of the corridor. He looked around for the sight of his locker. When he turned the corner on the right, he saw what looked like a female. She had shoulder length blond hair, along with pink clip that didn't really have a purpose accept to accessorize. She had on a white wool-like sweater over top of her plaid dress. On her feet, she had a pair of white knee high socks, as well as black Mary-Janes. Ivan made his way towards the female, and when he came close enough, he noticed that his locker was right beside her's. With a sigh, he twisted the lock, and opened the metal door with a creaking sound. The female who had happened to be applying mascara on her long eyelashes had stopped what she was doing.

"Like, wow. You totally made me mess up my make-up. Now I have to like, start over and stuff." She had spat out. Though, her voice was deeper than Ivan had anticipated. He glanced his amethyst orbs in her direction and noticed her pink-nailed hand was placed on her tiny hip.

"I'm sorry?" Ivan didn't really know what he was apologizing for. He found that females looked much better without anything covering up their face, anyways. He saw her sigh, and stick a hand out as if she wanted him to shake it.

"It's okay, broski. Don't do it again though. Otherwise, I'll like, totally get Tori to beat your ass." She said with a laugh,"Anyways, I'm like, Feliks." Feliks? Wait, what? She was really a male? Ivan felt a small blush creep its way across his cheeks as this person's gender dawned on him. Before he could understand what he was doing, he shoved the blond in his locker, and shut the door, thus walking away in the direction of his class. Not only did he find that the other was incredibly creepy; he hated himself for thinking he was slightly cute. Before finding out his true gender of course; because Ivan was not gay. At the thought of Feliks, a shiver shot up Ivan's spine. Who could have thought anyone would come close to disturbing him as much as the other male had just done.

As Ivan continued to walk, he ignored the yells of the latter.

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><p><strong>Aw, what a horrible place to end. Unfortunately, I could not really think of a way to continue on. I know I have it written down; but in my notebook, it was written with no detail, the characters are different, and it was written in first person.<strong>

**So I'm going along with the same plot line, but changing everything else.**

**Sorry about the random appearance of BurgerKnife. I'm also sorry that I can't write 'Merica. ;;;;**

**I know not that many people like that pairing, and this is a RusPol fanfic. **

**Surprisingly enough, I don't even like RusPol. I mean, I like the characters; just not really together. /shot**

**Whatever, this is for the fans. :)**

**I was going to stop it earlier; but I really wanted Feliks to make an appearance in the story.**

**Thanks for reading. I'll probably post the next chapter later today, or possibly tomorrow.**

**Please review and tell me what I can improve on. 3**


	3. Chapter 3

**Oh yeah. I lied about the Mary-Sueness in the other chapter. I was planning on typing more; but I thought that was a good stop. The Mary-Sueness is going to be in /this/ chapter. :D**

**/shot**

**Sorry if this chapter is horrible beyond compare. I'm tired, and I've got a couple things on my mind. **

**WARNINGS: Crack, OOC-ness, Human Names used, Mary-Sues, coarse language. **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia, Mary-Sues, or Valley girls.**

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><p><em>As Ivan continued to walk, he ignored the yells of the latter.<em>

The scene replayed in the Russian's mind. He knew he could have handled the situation much better; but the fact that Feliks was truly a male disturbed him a vast amount. He wondered if it was just the shock that had caused him to reply in such a manner. Ivan shook his head. No harm was done so he shouldn't be thinking of different ways the situation could have gone; though that didn't mean he could not feel remorse eating away at him. _Nyet, I am not apologizing. _A voice inside Ivan had convinced him that he did not need to apologize because there was no harm truly done; but the pain in his chest argued otherwise.

Ivan shook his head once more as he entered the designated classroom. The teacher was far too busy writing the assignment on the chalkboard to notice the Russian's entrance. Ivan used the teacher's occupied state as a chance to sit down in his seat unnoticed. He had risked getting detention far too many times to count by waiting for his sister to leave her post outside the front doors in the mornings.

Soon enough Ivan was lost in his thoughts. He placed his elbow on the smooth wooden surface of his desk, and rested his chin in his warm palm. His gaze was soon concentrated on the snow that could be seen out the window on the left side of the classroom as he watched the crystals of frozen water fall from the cloudy, gray sky above.

A loud cracking sound pulsed through the air causing Ivan to jump to attention. His teacher had smacked a metre stick against his desk to get the classes attention; and boy, did it work. At that moment, Ivan realized who was sitting in front of him. He could tell by those silky blond strands, and that white sweater. It was Feliks. _How the hell did he get out of the locker? _The thought chewed away at his mind. Surely no one had been in the hallway with them, nor would anyone come to help if they were in class, so how did that cross dresser escape the metal death trap? Did a fellow teacher let him out, or the school secretary? Nonsense. Ivan would have heard their footsteps as he was walking to class, wouldn't he? Or if it had been after he had gotten to class, surely Ivan would have heard the yells of his teacher when Feliks came in.

The situation left Ivan wondering. His thoughts were disrupted once again by the bell signaling that class was now over. Slowly, Ivan stood up in his seat. Not once did he let Feliks leave his sight. He felt as though Natalia's stalker-like antics were rubbing off on him; but that didn't stop him from following the latter. Soon enough, the Russian was led to the cafeteria. His purple orbs continued to watch the blond's hips swivel as he walked towards the line up for food. Ivan had placed himself behind on of the many potted plants that aligned themselves against the beige cafeteria walls. Using his hands to separate the branches, Ivan continuously watched the Pole get his food, and even talk to another male. This time it was a brunette whose hair was shoulder length as well.

Ivan had recognized the brunette from his math class. It was Toris Laurinaitis. He was one of the transfer students from Lithuania. The Russian had always seen Toris trembling with two others whenever he had walked by; yet he had never understood it. _Certainly, you are just cold, da?_ He had once asked them. The only reply he had gotten was a strangled sound coming from the smallest of the three. Remembering this moment made Ivan chuckle. Oh how silly some of the younger students were.

Again, Ivan had caught himself lost in his own thoughts when he had his own task to worry about. At this moment, all that mattered was studying his opponent to learn his weaknesses. Ivan was determined to see Feliks at his feet, face flushed with tears.

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><p><strong>I'm sorry about the wait, and the horrible stopping place. I was going to update earlier; but I was having difficulty getting my mind in the right place when I was writing.<strong>

**I also couldn't get over how terrible this chapter was. I haven't really proof read it, so if you find any grammar mistakes.. TELL ME. ; D ;  
><strong>

**I still feel like it's too short; but I can't write anymore, right now, and I don't want you guys to have to wait too long to get the next chapter.**

**Again, I'm sorry!**

**I understand if you're mad at me for the quality of this chapter.**

**orz **


	4. Chapter 4

**Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for not uploading earlier!**

**I feel extremely bad making you guys wait like that, though I do have a good -ish reason. My computer commited suicide, so I have been spending the last few days trying to regain my stuff; but when I'm not trying to get my stuff back, I have school, so I've been slowly trying to finish this. I'm working on a very old laptop, so the spelling might be terrible. I'm not good at typing on a laptop keyboard, and the writing program on this computer doesn't have grammar/spell check. /rips hair out/**

**Anyways...**

**WARNINGS: Gary-Stus. Like.. to an extreme, and mild coarse language.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia, if I did, there would be a lot of blood, gore, and yaoi. /nuke'd**

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><p><em>All that mattered was studying his opponent to learn his weaknesses. Ivan was determined to see Feliks at his feet, face flushed with tears.<em>

At the thought, a dark chuckle arose from the Russian`s throat. Just the thought made Ivan ill from inticipation. Finally, someone who he could break effortlessly whilst not having to worry about the remorse that would eat away at him. His dark amethyst eyes followed the blond`s figure make it`s way over to his destination at one of the lunch tables. Pink purse pushing itself off of Feliks' side with every step he took, his sweater without a doubt was perfectly straight, not a crinkle in sight, his blond locks straight without as much as one fly away as it moved back and forth from the movements. Ivan got out from his post behind the potted flowers, and decreetly made his way over to the beautiful- Er, interesting.. Other. His eyes were locked onto the bag that was curently being placed beside Feliks' hip as he sat on one of the black chairs. At that moment, Toris rose from his spot beside the blond, after saing a few words, and promptly left his position to go else where, and frankly, Ivan did not care to find out. His pale fingers wrapped themselves around the silk strap of the purse, and clenched very tightly. Ivan made his way to the near window, which so happened to be open. He peered out of the glass square, and noticed a fountain convienantly placed beneath it. The feminine voice of Feliks could be hear by everyone except Ivan. He was too absorbed in his plot that he could not hear. He put his hand outside of the window, so the pink accessory was dangling right above the water. A smile crept it's way upon the paled face of the Russian as his fingers unwrapped themselves from the silk as he was turning away. The smile only grew as the whispers in the back of his mind turned much louder, and he soon realized they were the angry shrieks of Feliks.

Ivan felt absolutely accomplished, and walked away from the window in stride. He was about to leave the eating area when he turned around, hoping to see Feliks terribly upset, and crying to his brunette friend; but instead he had seen Toris placed back beside Feliks, and the purse that was supposedly dropped into the fountain, placed carefully on Feliks' petite lap, completely dry. Heat rose in Ivan's face as everything dawned on him. How could the blond have gotten his bag back? Ivan was certain that he had dropped the bag. Just then, he thought about how Toris had disppeared right before the seen; but how could Toris have known Ivan's plan?

"Fuck..." growled the former. His fists began to clentch themselves as the scene replayed in Ivan's head. This was unexplainable. There was no possible wa someone would have caught the bag, and returned it to the blond without Ivan noticing them enter the cafeteria with it. With that, the Russian stormed out of the room, planning his next attack. He knew this one would work for sure.

The walk home seemed to continuously drag on as the winter air ate away at the flesh that was attached to Ivan's large structure. His hands were stuffed into the large pockets of his beige army-like tench coat. Steam spiralled around his face with every rigid breath he took. His mind set on humiliating Feliks, causing him to run out of the room crying out for help from his beloved friend, Toris. This was a sight that made Ivan shiver from anticipation. The cruelness behind his desires was completely unnoticed by him as his excitement filled his thoughts. Ivan cotinued to walk towards his home in the appartment building of shit while the frozen leaves, and ice crunched beneath every one of his steps. At that moment, the Russian froze in a midst of taking a step. He spotted that blond hairred crossdresser through the corner of is purple orbs while it seemed like he was walking towards his own home. _He lives in this part of town as well? Hm. Maybe he is one of these desperate whores._ A sick smile snuck it's way onto Ivan's pale face as the thought crossed his mind. Feliks having to whore himself out just to get money made Ivan chuckle darkly. Surely that was torture of it's own, right there. _Maybe I should buy him, sometime._ Of course, the Russian had no intention to cause pleasure-pain; but real, intense pain that would scar Feliks for the rest of his pitiful life using one of those many pipes that have made an appearance from their original spot in the appartment walls.

Ivan noticed that he had ended up stopping in front of his home. He didn't want Feliks to know where he lived, so he continued walking, and later turned down and alleyway and made his way back whe the coast was clear.

Later that night as Ivan was working on his geography homework, he heard some yelling coming from outside his bedroom window. Curious to see what all the commotion was about, he got up from his desk, making sure to grab his vodka he used to focus, and peered out the cracked glass, and tattered curtains. Of course, he wasn't thinking straight, so when he saw what he did, he dropped the bottle of vodka onto the brown carpet, and ran towards the street below. The scene had been caused by Feliks pissing off some of the Jons who were trying to purchase a few prostitutes. Ivan hurried as fast as he could down the creaky, wood steps of the building. He had previously gotten in a fight with those males before while trying to protect a few women from them, and had gotten seriously fucked up in the midst of a fight. Of course, that was back when Ivan was weak, and helpless. Living in this kind of enviroment had generated him to build up a strong body so he could protect himself, and those who he cared for. By the time Ivan reached the outside, the amount of assholes who were trying to start something had doubled. This was going to be a bigger challange than he thought, though he did have a reputation that compelled people to steer clear of him in general. Just then, Ivan came face to face with one of the Jons from the group. He had not suspected him of all people to be in this group; and it happened to be someone who he had despised most. Alfred fucking Jones.

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><p><strong>Sorry to leave you guys in a suspenceful place, and again, I'm so sorry about the long wait! But I'm finally available to write, now that school is over. Man, it feels so good to graduate. In my yearbook, we had a "Most likely" page. Mine was "Most likely to write a depressing novel". <strong>

**Yeah right. I don't have the attention span to write a novel. **

**Anyway, hopefully it won't take me forever to update like it did this time 'round.**

**After such a long wait, you'd think this chapter would be better, and longer than it actually is... Sorry. Small attention span. D'|**

**Also, if yo spot any spelling errors, or grammar errors, please TELL ME RIGHT AWAY. **

**I uploaded a new version of Mozilla Firefox, and it doesn't have spell check, either. It's pissing me off, so much!**

**Thanks for reading~  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**HAPPY CANADA DAY~ **

**I keep putting the warnings in the wrong chapters because I feel like I'm going to type more; but I eventually zone out, and leave you guys with horrible chapters. I don't know how you people can stand reading this. |D**

**I feel as though it's too repeatative, since I don't have a vast vocabulary, the amount of describing words I know is very plain and boring causing me to repeat words over, and over, and over. BUT! For this chapter, I've spent all night, and all morning coming up with the plot so I really hope I can portray my idea in the chapter. **

**WARNINGS: Some violence, implied Gary-Stuness, mild coarse language. Of course, where would the enjoyment of reading this chapter be without it? **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia, sadly.**

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><p>Seeing that American with a group of Jons was one of the worst possible things that could happen at this moment. Not only did he hate Alfred with all of his heart; but the fact that he was paying for a prostitute when he had a girlfriend was atrocious. The fact that said girlfriend was Ivan's little sister pushed him over the edge. Anger boiled inside of him as he lunged at the American, a large hand making it's way to wrap around his small neck, and push him against the bricks of the appartment in one swift movement, knocking the air right out of Alfred's lungs. In a tone that was slightly tuned out by his own growling, Ivan managed words to form in his mouth, "Buying a prostitute when you're one with my little siestra? That's low, da?" fingers tightening their position with every word spoken. A small gasping sound pushed itself out from behind Alfred's lips, the colour draining from his face every agonizing second. Hearing the sound only pushed Ivan farther, he loved to see the American's face twist in pain as he desperately tried to breath, only to have a strong hand block the air from passing through the wind pipe."I'm sorry, I did not catch that~" The look on Ivan's face was playful; but the tone of his voice told Ivan he might not see the light of day again, whether it was death, or his eyes being gorged out of their home in his skull, he didn't know. What he did know, is he couldn't give Ivan the satisfaction he was looking for.<p>

Thinking quickly to try and save his ass, he spoke raspily, and quiet, yet still trying to sound tough, "You won't dare hurt me, Natalia would never forgive you..." he smirked, which obviously pissed the Russian off even more, if possible, "Ya' see... I technically haven't done anything wrong. I was bein' all heroic, and helpin' these ladies out. Yer' the one who'll seem like the bad guy, here." As much as Ivan would hate to admit it, the narcissistic idiot was correct, if he killed Alfred right here, then Natalia would never forgive him, and she would become more malicious towards him than she already was. Even though Alfred was with those jackass thugs, and gave some of his money to these poor women, Ivan could not be sure he was going to sexually abuse them like everyone else was, or course, this was Alfred, he'd get any action he could, since his girlfriend was Natalia, and all she seemed to care about was marrying the Russian. Even so, the anger could not be held back. He wasn't sure why he couldn't control his actions; but he didn't seem to mind. Right then, the hand that wasn't busy strangling the latter met up with his jaw. A loud growl couldn't be heard coming from both nations as the anger and hatred grew every waking second that the two were in that position. Ivan wanted to brutally murder Alfred, by tearing him limb from limb, scattering the pieces on the paved road, watching the red blood paint every crevis of the body, his body. The pain stricken face as the limbs are riped off, only to go pale, and be revitalized by the beautiful red of his own body fluids when being beaten senselessly by the severed body part. The picture painted itself in the Russian's mind, only to drive him further to the breaking point. Oh how he had wanted to cause the American that much pain and suffering, though his little sister would never forgive him. It's not like she truly cared about the narcassist, right? Who could? All he cared about was sex, money, himself, and being portrayed as a fake hero.

Ivan gave another punch to the same lace as the first, square in the latter's jaw. Another pained noise esacped his lips, and Alfred quickly scrambled to cover it by coughing, and trying to pry Ivan's hand from it's non-budging position around his throat. A dark chuckle came from the Russian as Alfred continued to struggle. This was completely amusing to the former, so much that he had forgotten about Feliks and the others until he felt someone kick the back of his knee. In a swift motion, Ivan turned around to face the blond who he had originally came out to help, while making sure not to release his grip on the other. The look that had made a home on his face was enough to cause Feliks to take a small set backwards. Fear seemed to be trying to escape from his usual calm and collected look; but he faught it back, not wanting Ivan to notice his startled state. Soon enough he had gathered himself, again. It had not taken long since it was only a temporary fright, so of course it was easier to do so.

"Like, totally let go of him, you big meat head." a small hand pushed it's way through the blond strands generating them to fly up from their position standing on his petite shoulders. His pink lips were pursed in an annoyed fashion causing Ivan to just stare, not even realizing his hand slipped away from the American, and having him drop to his knees with a rather large gasp for sweet sweet air, a sight that would usually please the former. While crossing his arms and slightly tilting his head to the side, a childish smile took place of the malicious one that had previously made a home on his face. Being started at in such a fashion urged Feliks to continue, "Like, he didn't even do anything. He just came along, gave some girls some money, and was about to leave when he ran into you, and you totally went apeshit on him, stupid freak." The words echoed in Ivan's mind but meant absolutely nothing to him. Just because Alfred was in the midst of leaving didn't mean he was going to leave alone. At that moment, he noticed that the other males were no where to be found, and that there was no reason for him to be on the scene anymore, so he turned around without a word, and walked back into his building, making sure not to forget to kick Alfred in the rib cage before hand, with a satisfied smile plastered on his round face.

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><p><strong>Man, don't you hate it when you're typing something, and all of the sudden your 'rents ask you to do something for you?<strong>

**Yeah, that happened like five gillion times, today. I would be typing something, then asked to do a few things, I would do them, come back to typing, forget what I was typing, and get bored... But I still got it done, today, even though it's late.**

**Because I'm a sadistic mother fucker, I enjoyed typing this chapter. It's actually my favourite one~**

**Please tell me if you see any spelling or grammar errors, and sorry for the shortness of the chapter. I didn't know how to continue, like always. xD;;;**

**I seriously don't get how people can write such long chapters... Maybe it's 'cause they write them in a week, not a day. **

**/shrugs/  
><strong>

**Thanks for reading~**


	6. Chapter 6

**Holy shit. I actually decided to write another chapter for this. /**

**I am so sorry that I had completely dropped this story. I mean, there were so many people anticipating the next chapter, and I failed to give it to them. **

**The sad thing is, I was in the middle of writing a chapter, which had taken so long to start, and I completely lost interest. Itdoesn',mycomputermurdereditself..again.**

**After writing my "In The Eyes Of A Monster" fanfic, (based off of a dream I had, which was vaguely familiar to 'Beastly') I remembered how much fun it is to write stories. Hopefully I can re-adapt my angsty, and descriptive writing style for you guys.**

**Unfortunately, though, I lost my notebook which contained the story line.. So I'll have to wing it..**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia, blah blah blah.**

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><p>Ivan stared at the brown liquid that had recently made home in his already-filthy carpet after his attempt to help what appeared to be a "defenceless cross-dresser". His body shook as the rest of his pent up anger slowly released its grasp on the Russian's muscles. His pale lids fluttered closed, and rested upon his amethyst eyes as he took a deep breath. Slowly, Ivan raised his left hand to meet with his hair, as the strong fingers made their way through the pale strands that perched themselves on top of his scalp. After standing in the same position for what seemed like many minutes, finally he moved. His hand fell from his hair as his eyes opened, so he could see the mess once more. Deciding that there was nothing he could do, Ivan moved to sit down on his cot with a <em>plop<em>. As his body made contact with the beat-down cushion, a loud cracking sound filled the open air, and the thin layer of dust that had settled came back to life once more. It appeared that no matter how often he cleaned his house, the grime would never truly go away. He figured that it was some sort of metaphor to life, or something along those lines.

At that moment, he remembered the time when he was seven, Katyusha was nine, and Natalia was four. It was one of those beautiful January days, where the sky was crisp blue, and the ground was covered in a fresh layer of fluffy, white snow that the night sky had thrown up only a day before. Ivan's birthday had just past, and he was wearing that brilliant off-white scarf his dearest older sister had knitted for him as he trudged through the high mounds of precipitation with his sisters along side him. Ivan had wanted to sit outside, and enjoy the weather while it lasted, and naturally, Natalia was determined to join him. Even at that age, she had her unusual obsession for the former that no one could quite explain. Not wanting to waste any precious time dawdling inside the house, Katyusha joined her siblings outside. It was a rare occasion if the three actually spent time together. The family had to fend for themselves at a very young age. Ivan's mother had passed away due to some unknown illness when he was just five, and his cruel father left them alone when he was six. From that point in time, Katyusha took it upon herself to fend for her gruelling family. Being the man on the family, Ivan tried his best to help his sister support them by catching a skinning a rabbit every now and then. Even know it was a wonder how the three managed to survive those harsh winters, and miserable summers. That was probably what made them so strong.

When Ivan had seen those Jons surrounding Feliks, something inside of his pushed him forward. Motivated him to protect the latter, no matter what the consequence. The reason as to why baffled the Russian. He had just met the Pole earlier that day, and yet, there was something about him that made Ivan want to make sure that he was out of harms way, unless of course it was Ivan who was causing him harm. Maybe that is why he wanted to protect Feliks. Maybe he wanted to be the only one to make him suffer, and cry out in agonizing pain. Just the thought of the pleasure that could come from the torture made Ivan's palms sweat in anticipation.

As if on cue, his phone rang that familiar Russian tune only to snap him out of his fantasies. Apprehensively, Ivan leaned to the side so it was easier to reach into the left pocket of his uniform pants. Once the small electronic was in his hand, he flipped the top open, and pressed the button with the green receiver on it. Cautiously, his pale hand lifted the device towards his ear.

"Privyet?" The annoyance that mixed in with that thick accent was by no means meant to be hidden. Ivan wanted the anonymous caller to realize that they were calling at a terrible time. At that moment, he heard the person clear their throat, obviously trying to regain their cool-kid composure.

"Like, hey meat-head," That voice could only belong to one person. The person that Ivan wanted to make cry the most. He wanted to snap his brittle fingers into pieces, and watch as he cries because he 'broke a nail'. The thought made Ivan smirk. "I just wanted to say like, thanks for trying to help me. It was like, totally cute, and stuff!" There was a loud crunching sound coming from the other end. While Ivan tried to pay no attention to the obnoxious noise, his brain wrapped around what Feliks had just said. The fact that he was just called "cute" made him sneer. A low growl formed in his throat, and it was obvious that Feliks had heard it, since his munching had stopped.

"I wasn't trying to help you." Ivan said, a little bit to much malice in his voice. " I simply saw that damn American, and wanted to teach him a lesson. So please, stop flattering yourself. I could not care less about what happens to you." Though the words seemed convincing, something inside Ivan told him otherwise. He really did care about what happened to Feliks. Maybe not in the way that the latter had thought, but it wasn't the way the former made it out to be, either. The petite boy scoffed as a reply.

"Yeah, about that. The way you attacked him was totally un-cool!" He made sure to enunciate the different syllables in "uncool" to emphasize the word. "Don't you know you can't hit someone in glasses? Gosh!" As the boy spoke, a question rattled inside of Ivan's head. Without acknowledging his response, Ivan changed the subject to more important matters.

"How did you get my number?" His voice was demanding, yet monotonous all the same. Instantly, Feliks' face flushed, all the colour leaving his features almost immediately. He had been expecting the question; just not that early in the conversation. Quickly, he wracked his brain for any sort of excuse. Seeing the Russian, Feliks knew that he was not a force to be reckoned with, so the idea of angering him to the point of him attacking the former like he had Alfred startled him.

After Ivan left from the scene with the American, Feliks noticed that Alfred was having tremendous amount of trouble breathing. His shallow breaths could be heard clearly, and his face was contorted into an expression that represented the mass amount of pain he was in. Wanting to be the hero he was, Alfred took it upon himself not to give up his "tough-guy" facade until Ivan had left the scene. Knowing the Russian for as long as he did, he knew that showing pain during, and even after a fight with Ivan could lead you into even more trouble than you were already in. If you showed any sign of agony, you would be giving him the satisfaction that he craved. Feliks had tried to help Alfred, (who refused to accept it) and tried his best to get the latter to a near-by hospital. Even move Feliks made sent a shock wave of pain coursing through Alfred's body, most likely due to a broken rib, or four. The memory sent a chill through Feliks' spine. He tried to form the words; but his mouth would not co-operate. Instead, he remained silent.

In sheer annoyance, Ivan let out a louder growl. If the wimp didn't want to speak, then there was nothing he could really do to get him to speak. Of course, he did have plans to show him a lesson at school the next day, only if he could convince his aching body to, though.

"Fine, do not answer. It is not of importance anyways." Was all he could manage to say before closing his phone against his wall without much force. His body was too weak to want to move at all. With that, his pale lids slowly began to sink onto his purple orbs once more.

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><p><strong>Privyet – Hello<strong>

**Lame ending is lame.**

**I finally posted another chapter, though. (Even if it's terribly written, and shitty.)**

**Funny thing is, after posting "In The Eyes Of A Monster" this story because even more popular, meanwhile, my other story was like.. Ignored. Hard work gone to waste, I guess. **

**While writing this, I was doing the weirdest things. I had just finished reading this amazing fanfic when I got ideas for this story. I'm not really sure how I remembered what the hell was going on, but I did. Long term memory, FTW.**

**I actually remember this scene happening, though it was later on in the RP, and it was nothing like this. It's really difficult to transfer some sweet, innocent, Latvia-like child into a flamboyant, obnoxious Land of Po.**

**Anywhore, I was watching the Junior Cup Hockey thing of Sve against Russia, with the former winning at 1 – 0, The got that goal during the last minute of OT. I mean, if Russia could be Canada, why can't they beat the Swedes? Not that I have anything against Swedes, I mean, I love them, their awesome; but since Canada already lost, I was cheering for Russia. I don't know, I'm okay with Sweden winning since they haven't won gold in almost thirty-one years. (or at least that's what my dad told me.)**

**I was watching the Swedes celebrate, and then it would flash to the Russians, and they looked so heart-broken. It was so adorable. ; A ; *heart* /defenestrate'd**

**So, please review? You'll get a congratulatory pat on the back? /thumbs up and wink**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello readers.**

**Are you surprised to see I uploaded? Yeah, so am I. Especially since I have exams and I SHOULD be studying.. Ha, just kidding. I don't study. *waves hand dismissively***

**So yeah, after writing the previous chapter, I have discovered that my writing style has turned to absolute crud, and that may be why the chapter was so.. unsuccessful. My writing style has become very lazy, and resembles that of a fourth grader. OTL**

***Disclaimer; I don't own Hetalia.. if I did, well.. it wouldn't be pretty. = u =)b**

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><p>Warm fog encircled itself around a pale face, as he released a deep breath. The frozen precipitation screaming in pain every time a heavy foot came into contact. Large hands curled themselves into two tight fists as the owner anticipated the sight of the devil himself. The same devil that he caught cheating on his sister with a prostitute. The Russian inhaled sharply as his destination came into his line of vision. There he knew he would find his sister, and for once, he was praying that he would. Not only was he desperate to get the leech of remorse off his chest, but he was willing to accept any demonic form of torture she had in store for him. He was also fully aware that after hearing the news, his sister would turn to hysterics, though she would never admit that was truly the reason. Moreover, it disturbed the Russian that he had been bracing himself for the lashing the entire evening before. It was as if he almost wanted it. Wanted to feel the pain-staking agony of having his beloved little sister cut him apart with that jaded metal blade of the dagger she had with her at all-times. Ivan figured that it was better for him to be harmed that to have her harm herself, as he knew she would. He had always known that Natalia cut herself when she thought no one was around. No matter how well she cleaned the bathtub, there were still hints of that sick, metallic smell that lingered despite the strong smell of cleaners, and disinfectant. To further his suspicion, she would never wear short-sleeved shirts or dresses. She down right refused, and the reasons she sputtered out were always incomprehensible.<p>

Ivan stopped in his tracks, shutting his eyes tightly, causing the salty liquid to stop in its tracks before it could occupy his numb cheeks. Shaking his head slowly, he let out an exasperated sigh and continued on walking. This was not the time, or place to let his feelings get the better of him. He needed to be strong for both his sister, and himself. Face going stoic, and expressionless, he spotted Natalia in her usual post in front of the double doors, waiting for the Russian to arrive. Ivan mustered up all the courage he could, and continued to make his way towards the petite girl, but with every step he took, the gnawing in his chest became stronger, and she appeared to be getting farther away, despite the small distance between the two. Natalia's head perked as she heard the loud crunches of snow coming towards her, her preset glare soon dying down into what seemed like a mixture of ecstasy and surprise.

"Brat-!" She tried to say the word as calmly as possible, but there was a small hint of excitement laced into the thick accent. She opened her mouth to speak; but was taken aback by her brother's firm arms around her thin frame.

"Natalia, I have to tell you something very important, and believe me, it's hurting me as much as it will hurt you; but you've got to stay strong, alright?" Ivan was trying his best to brace her for the horrific news he was about to share, also making sure to brace himself for her outrage. Staring into her cold, purple eyes, he watched as she nodded, curiosity evidently taking over, for she did not question him about what he had just said. "Yesterday night, I was looking out my window when I noticed a group of Jons harassing the poor girls who sell their bodies to feed their drug addictions, and-" He stopped in mid-sentence as he felt a weak hand hook on one of his broad shoulders. Turning his head, Ivan's amethyst eyes met with glaring sapphire ones.

"What'cha doin' talking to yer' little sister about prostitutes, Ivan?" The raspy voice filled with malice as Alfred said his name. His jaw was purple, black and yellow, as was this neck from when Ivan's large hands had applied pressure the night before. The Russian stiffened at the sight, but a smirk began to develop on his pale lips. Just the thought that Ivan had done that amount of damage to the American so simply pleased him. Of course, next time Alfred would not get off so easy.

"Oh, Alfred! I was just talking to my little siestra about you. It is much better that your here so that you can see exactly how much damage you have done~" His voice may have appeared childish, and friendly to any other person; but Alfred heard what was hidden by his voice, pure hatred. He winced as he swallowed, and gave a glare to the Russian before glancing at his girlfriend, who was becoming impatient, and annoyed.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't do anything, unless your that enraged about me dating your sister that you're going to spew lies about me." Natalia stood there in thought, silently replaying everything that had previously been said in her heard. Hastily, she tried to sort out what the two were talking about. Jons, prostitutes, Alfred, it was all so confusing. A piercingly loud bell shrieked above them, causing the three to stop what they were doing. She gave Ivan a half-apologetic look, as she headed towards the door.

"I would really love to spend more time with you brat, since it has been so long.. Maybe you could continue with your story after school, da?" When Ivan smiled in acknowledgement, Natalia took it as a sign that it was alright for her to leave. Forcefully, she opened one of the large wooden doors, and headed inside, the sound of her black Mary-Janes clacking on the tiled floor as she made her way down the hall, followed by a creak of the door shutting back into place. Alfred took a small step towards the door, not wanting to be alone with the communist, only to be forced back by a large hand.

"Nyet, Alfred. I am not finished with you." his voice was deep with fury. In one swift movement, Alfred found himself on his back, while a wave of pain shot through his spine. He let out a choked gasp, and desperately tried to regain the breath that had just been knocked out of his lungs, only to have a heavy boot come in contact with his already-bruised ribcage. In the meantime, Ivan drank up the cry of pain that slipped from the former's lips. Applying pressure with his foot, a smile plastered itself on his face. Surely he was going to enjoy his revenge. He was hell-bent on making the American rue the day he cheated on Ivan's little sister. It was a smack in the face to see a scene such as that take place, it was practically screeching that his sister was not good enough for Alfred, and he would certainly not stand for any nonsense such as that. Placing his hand in the latter's blonde strands, he lifted the American's head and dynamically smashed it against the cement, not once, but four times. Every cry motivated Ivan to continue with his torture. Alfred lifted a hand to try to push Ivan away; but did not prevail. The former noticed the action, and grabbed the latter's weak hand. "You think you can use the hands to your advantage?" In an effortless movement, Ivan bent on of the fingers all the way back, popping out the knuckle. A satisfied chuckle came from his lips; but could not be heard over Alfred's pain-filled cries. Ivan continued with the motion until all of the fingers on the American's right hand were popped out, and distorted. Dropping his hand back to the ground, Ivan ran his fingers through some of the crimson blood from the blonde's head that had painted the ground and chuckled once more. Standing up, Ivan towered over top of the screaming figure below him, "Shut up, you worthless piece of shit!" Explosively, the Russian's boot came in contact with the American's face repeatedly. No words could explain how much the silver-haired man was enjoying the scene. From the screams, to the blood, to the thought of it being him who caused all of it, it was like a child in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

To finish, the Russian spat onto the convulsing body in front of him, walking back towards the front gates. The satisfying smile disappearing from his face as the snow crunched beneath him, leaving bloody footprints in his wake. Noticing this, he stopped in his tracks and wiped the excess liquid from his boots to stop anyone from following the trail in his direction.

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><p>The sound of Ivan's ringtone disturbed him from his thoughts of what event had previously taken place. Flipping his cellphone open angrily, he pressed the green phone receiver. "What?" He snarled.<p>

"Whoa, like.. it's just me." Ivan rubbed his eyes as the feminine voice penetrated his ears. Feliks was one of the last people he wanted to associate with, at the moment. Noticing the Russian's lack of response, he continued, "I just wanted to know if you knew what happened to Alfred. Raivis like, found him passed out in a pool of his own blood in front of the school, and totally freaked out! ..Poor guy." The concern in Feliks's voice sickened him. How anyone could even care for the American, he did not understand one bit. There was nothing appealing about his personality, and it wasn't like he was attractive, so why did people like him? The answer would stay a mystery, he presumed.

Forcing the malice out of his voice, he managed to reply, "Nyet, I do not. Though, he probably deserved the beating."

"Like, only some sadistic ass hole would beat someone into a coma. Oh my gosh! I just had an epiphany! No one knows who did it, so there can be some psychopathic freak on the loose! We're like, totally not safe!" Trailing his thoughts away from the Polish man who was having a hysterics attack on the other end of the phone, he imagined poor little Raivis finding Alfred's distorted body, and fainting. Naturally, the thought amused him, he always did enjoy torturing the little boy.

Sighing in annoyance, Ivan cut the Pole off from his ten-minute-long vent about how some sociopath could possibly harm his 'perfect face', "Would you shut up, already? I'm sure the attacker had a perfectly good reason for torturing Alfred. Unless you pissed off someone off quite severely, I would not worry. So please, leave me alone." Snapping the phone shut, he groaned. His thoughts danced around the attack that took place earlier, and soon realization hit him. How was he going to explain this to his sister?

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><p><strong>Oooh, cliff-hanger. shot**

**At least I made it easy for me to continue on with this, y'know? Though, I'm going to apologize in advance, since the next chapter will be focusing more on Russia and Belarus. I'm also going to apologize for the serious lack of Poland. I swear, in the later chapters, he will be a main character! ||OTL  
><strong>

**As you could tell, I was in a sadistic mood today. I wanted to be more descriptive about the beating; but then I remembered that this story is rated T. :/**

**I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. I think this chapter was so angsty and sturf because I was listening to "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri. It's weird, I usually hate 'mainstream' music; but I like this song because it's different. It's got a creepy twist to it, you know? *shrugs***

**Please review? All reviews are loved~**

**Except if you're going to point how terrible my writing style is, then don't bother, since I already know. Thank you. o 3 o**


	8. Chapter 8

**I decided to not leave you with a cliff-hanger for too long, although I feel like my work isn't being enjoyed by the lack of reviews, and opinions.**

***shrugs* Maybe I'm just being stupid.**

**Without further adieu, here is chapter 8~**

**DISCLAIMER; I don't own Hetalia, blah blah blah.**

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><p><em>She's waiting for me. Waiting for answers. Waiting in the same spot that I have mutilated her boyfriend. Waiting to attack me like a lion would his prey.<em>

Jumbled thoughts swirled around in his mind as he walked back towards the school building where he had been only a few hours before. Breathing slowly to calm his nerves, Ivan tried desperately to think of what to say if and when his sister asked him the question he dreaded most. A shiver shot itself up the Russian's spine, despite his silent protests. He hated to admit how his little sister could turn him into such a coward just at the thought of her pointing a knife at him, anger flooding her eyes. He has seen the expression many times before after he refused to marry her, yet, there it was, imprinted into his mind to haunt his dreams, leaving him scared to leave his own home.

Ivan shook his head, slowly to rid himself of the image, and continued walking. His stomach began churning uncontrollably as the large building neared. His face paled as he saw her small silhouette in the distance; but his legs had a mind of their own, and stiffly, he trudged through the frozen crystals towards his little sister. When he was only a few feet away, her head snapped in his direct, scowl lightening slightly. Looking closer, Ivan noticed that Natalia's eyes were slightly puffy, most likely from the tears that escaped her eyes after hearing about the attack. Forcing a small smile, he stood in front of her, waiting for the question to come; but it never did. Instead, the Belarusian lunged herself into Ivan's large arms, face hidden in his thick jacket. Once the shock had surpassed, he carefully encircled his arms around Natalia's frail figure, rubbing her back, slowly and cautiously. Guilt yanked at his heartstrings has he watched his little sister shake in his grasp, obviously devastated over the previous events, although she'd never admit it. How could he possibly tell her that who she once thought of as a "beloved older brother" beat her boyfriend into submission. Ivan knew what he had to do, and for once, he was going to man up, and face the consequences. Natalia deserved to know the truth behind the misfortunes.

"N-Natalia.." Voice shaking uncontrollably, he finally spoke. Instantly, she perked up at his words, tears staining his jacket where her face had been. She looked so defeated, and broken, Ivan couldn't bare looking. He turned his head away to stare at the empty space to his right. "I have.. I have to tell you something.. t-that I think you should know." He silently cursed to himself as his voice wavered in uncertainty. Hearing the sound of her clothes rustling, he knew she had nodded, as eyes burned holes into his soul. "It's a-about Alfred.." A small gasp escaped her lips as the words were released into the air. Natalia braced herself for the news, hopelessly waiting to hear what was coming next. Muffled sounds came from her brother's lips; but she didn't comprehend a singly word.

"W-what..?" She felt him take a deep breath, as his chest inflated, then deflated.

"I.. did it.." The words entered her ears; but they didn't make any sense. He... did it? He.. _mutilated_ him? What the Russian had said dawned upon her, as realization took over, she forcefully shoved him away, glaring through tear eyes. Not once had she been so hurt, not even when Ivan refused her idea of marriage. Shaking her head slowly, she opened her mouth to speak; but only a strangled noise came from her throat. Balling her hands tightly, she waited for Ivan to continue. "I was only trying to protect you-!"

"Protect me from what?" Her words were laced thickly with malice, and devastation. Although it shouldn't have surprised him, Ivan was taken aback, wracking his brain for a good explanation of his actions. His whole body shook in fear and guilt.

"From getting hurt. He was.. he was _cheating_ on you, Natalia. I couldn't stand there and watch, I had to do something!" A sharp pain enveloped his left shoulder, cutting his sentence off. He looked to where the pain was only to see a dagger had made its way into the flesh. Blood began to paint the tan fabric of his jacket. He looked up at his sister, shock completely taken over, to see her shaking in anger, face flushed with tears, dagger in hand. He gaped at her as he tried to take in what just happened. Heedfully, he placed a hand on the dagger lodged in his shoulder, and pulled it out, cringing in pain in the process. "Natalia..." he said worriedly. He searched her face for any hidden emotions, to find none. She didn't even dare look him in the eye; but it was obvious that she was contemplating throwing the other dagger in his direction. "I'm sorry, I just didn't want to see you hurt.. I care about you. You're my litter sister, I'm supposed to protect you from harm." His words were true, he did care about her, and he took it upon himself to look after her; but she wasn't buying it. Within seconds, another dagger made its way into Ivan's lower thigh. He knew that she could have aimed higher; but decided not to. Because she didn't do so, the Russian knew that she was determining whether or not to believe his words. "Honestly, Natalia." He desperately urged her to believe him, as he watched sorrow-filled tears fall to the ground, freezing in a matter of seconds. Cautiously, Ivan took a small step towards her, only to stop in his tracks as pain coursed through his body. Looking down, he saw the entire bottom half of his pant leg was drenched in the crimson liquid. She had hit a major artery.

Moving his attention back to the Belarusian only a few feet away from him, he watched as she dropped to her knees, hands cupping her face to stop the flow of tears, only to fail. Removing the dagger from his leg, roughly, he fell onto all-fours, trying to remain conscious; but the pain was unbearable. He watched as blood dripped from his limbs, and onto the white canvas below him, only to have his vision become groggy, before going black all together.

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><p>Amethyst eyes gently fluttered open, as the owner succumbed to consciousness, only to see green orbs, full of concern, staring back at him. He let out a strangled cry as the man came into focus.<p>

"Like, oh my gosh, you're awake! I was so like, worried for a moment." A blond woman – no, man – stood above him, only inches away from his face. His breath slowly caressed Ivan's pale skin as he was still fully waking up. He tried to sit up, but instantly regretted his decision as he fulled with agony. "Don't do that, meat head! You're like, severely hurt, and stuff." A groan snuck past the Russian's lips as he lifted his head to look at his body. Both his shoulder and thigh were wrapped in now blood-stained bandages, and most of his clothing had been removed, aside from his boxers and socks.

"Where are my clothes?" Humiliation filled his voice as he looked at his exposure.

"Oh, they were like.. covered in blood, so I had Toris remove them."

"Toris?"

"Yeah, he's like, really good at medical stuff."

"Where am I?"

"Oh, you're at my house." His eyebrows furrowed, slightly. "I was walking back to school to grab my geography textbook, which I had like, forgotten in my locker, and I found you unconscious in like, a pool of your own blood, so I called Toris, and brought you back to my place. I can't like, let you die from blood-loss and hypothermia. That'd be totally uncool." He crossed his arms, staring at Ivan. "What happened to you, anyways?" The words took him completely off-guard. He didn't want to tell the Pole about what had happened, so he quickly thought of an excuse not to tell him.

"I don't.. remember." He lied, doing his best to act innocent. Apparently it worked, since Feliks didn't ask any more questions; but instead, he called the Lithuanian who had patched him up back in the room. As Toris entered, he looked at Ivan's exposed body with concern. Slowly, he began to unwrap the Russian's bandages, and exchange them for clean ones. As he was being tended to, Ivan noticed that his shoulder had been stitched up, quite expertly, at that. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. _Had Toris done that?_ He wondered. As if on cue, Toris replied.

"I apologize; but I had to stitch the skin back together for the wounds were quite deep. Almost like.. stab wounds." The expression on his face hardened as he continued to work. From his words, Ivan knew that Toris understood what happened.

Toris had the biggest crush on Natalia ever since they were eleven years of age. Of course, Natalia despised the Lithuanian with a passion, and often harmed him, therefore he knew what kind of damage she could do when she was upset. It appeared that the Russian had done something to upset her immensely, for the damage found on Ivan was only something she would do to him if she was really apoplectic. She always seemed to go easier on him than anyone else.

"Thank you.." A small smile forced itself onto the Lithuanian's face, as he was snapped out of his thoughts, watching as the Russian slipped back into sleep.

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><p><strong>I kinda want to redo the first five chapters, and make them better; but I have no idea what to do. If I change one chapter, I'll have to change them all, y'know?<strong>

**Anyways, please review. I love reviews, they make my day.**


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER; I do not own Hetalia.**

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><p>Purple eyes fluttered open, quickly shutting closed once the light had made it's way into the now burning corneas. A small groan escaped pale lips as Ivan shifted in his spot on the soft mattress. <em>Wait.. mattress?<em> In one swift movement, he was now seated upright, hissing as pain shot through his body, reopening the stab wound on his shoulder from the day before. Cautiously, he looked around to take in his scenery, only then to remember that he was brought to Feliks's house to be treated. He released a small sigh as he swung his legs off the bed, trying his best to ignore the agonizing pain in his knee whilst standing on two feet. Ivan looked down at his body to figure out why it was that he felt chills, only to notice that he was standing in only his boxers. _Right, my clothes are being cleaned.._ He muttered a few curses before grabbing the blanket from the mattress behind him, draping it over his shoulders, and sauntering off to find a resident who knew where his clothing was.

After five agonizing minutes, he found himself in a beautifully furnished living room with large murals of horses littering the walls.

"Totally fabulous, right?" Ivan sharply turned on his heels to face the person he was looking for. Ignoring the screams from his body, he turned to look over his wounded shoulder at the room once more.

"It's not really my taste." He wasn't lying, per se, the furniture wasn't his style; but that didn't mean he couldn't be in awe. Naturally, he didn't want Feliks of all people to know about his current financial standing, "My house is much nicer." He lied, forcing a fake smirk upon the pale lips.

"Yeah? Well, you should like, totally show me some time, if it's that awesome." It was as if he knew that Ivan was lying, and calling him out on his bluff. Of course, he had seen Ivan enter the ratty complex after the first fight with Alfred...

"Where are my clothes?" Not wanting to linger on the subject any longer, he asked what he had originally wanted to. He looked down at himself once more as he felt Feliks's eyes trace the muscles in his stomach. Uncomfortable, he adjusted the blanket that was wrapped around him to cover more, looking off in a different direction as could feel slight heat rising in his cheeks.

"I personally think you look better without them; but if you like, insist." With that, the blonde made his way out of the room to retrieve the articles of clothing while Ivan froze in his spot, wondering if he had really heard Feliks's words correctly.

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><p>Ivan sat on the curb in front of his building indulged in thought about the events that had previously made appearance. From finding Alfred with thugs, to Feliks flirting with him. It had all been to much for the poor Russian to take in. Shaking his head, he took another sit from the metal flask in his hand, sighing in contentment as the clear liquid burned a path down his throat.<p>

He watched as a car made it's way past him every once in a while. It hadn't really meant anything to him until the fifth time it passed by. Maybe they were just lost, or simply couldn't drive, though, they must have noticed Ivan since they drove past him so many times.

He decided on the idea that the driver was just looking for a pretty lady to pick up. Ever since the mishap with Alfred, there had been a lot less roaming around.

_At least I did something for the good of humanity._ He thought, with that, he took a swig, then another, until he simply couldn't remember what he was doing in the first place.

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><p>Obnoxious ringing filled the air, and squirmed its way into Ivan's ears, thus leaving him ultimately annoyed. The alarm clock was throw across the room with such force, that it shattered when coming in contact with the rotting wall across from him. Usually the noise didn't bother him that badly; but that morning he was quite hungover, leaving his head pounding, and him irritable.<p>

Stiffly, Ivan stretched his arms above his head, whilst standing up, completely numb to the aches in his body. Not caring how he looked, he pulled on his uniform, as well has his pinkish-beige scarf and made his way to the front door, successfully tripping in the middle of exiting. Looking behind him from his spot on the floor, Ivan noticed a nicely wrapped present, which now consumed a foot-shaped dent. He grimaced at the foreign object, mind dancing curiously. Growling quietly to himself, Ivan stood, bringing the present into his apartment. Finally decided that the gift was safe to open, he tore off the pink wrapping paper effortlessly, dropping it to the floor. He inspected the box closely, trying to figure out what it was before finally giving up, and removing the cardboard lid. Taken aback, he studied the box's contents. New clothing. Had this been some form of joke? Originally he thought the gift had been from Natalia; but that idea was soon replaced as he took in the fabrics. Suede and silk, otherwise known as expensive. Only one person could have gifted him such expensive clothing, and that was Feliks. It was probably to replace the blood-stained ones from a few days before. A small smile crept onto his face as he placed the box in his bedroom closet, and resumed making his way to school.

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><p>"Hey, did you like my gift?"<p>

"Huh?"

"My gift. Did you like it? You better have, they were like, totally expensive, yet oh-so fabulous."

Ivan turned to stare angrily into vacant green eyes, "No, I did not."

"Aw, like, why..?" Feliks whined.

"They are not my style."

"Oh, just like how my house wasn't your style?" Ivan refused to answer, smirking, he continued, "Why was it, again? Because you how was like, more fabulous? So I take it you have better clothes than that, too?" A low growl escaped Ivan's pale lips, causing the blonde to flinch, though quickly regaining his stature, and speeding up to catch up to the large man who was making his leave. "C'mon, I was just like, kidding! I think it's totally cute that you were trying to make me jealous."

"Jealous?"

"Yeah, why else would you say your house was so much nicer?"

"Shut up."

"Wha-"

"I said 'shut up'!" The Russian whirled around on his heels to glare holes into the pestiferous man. Right now, he wanted to tear the man apart limb from limb, watching him squirm in pain as he drank up the screams as if his life depended on it; but unfortunately, his body would not co-operate, so instead, he stood in his spot and shook in anger. The Pole just sighed, and raised his hands in defeat.

"Alright, I'm like, sorry. I wasn't aware that you woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." he felt his eye twitch, and without another word, Ivan stormed out of the room, not caring about the stares he was getting. He was too upset to even care, though he wasn't exactly sure what had set him off. Finding an empty spot in the forum, he sat against the wall with an aggravated sigh. _I should be thankful that he was trying to help; but I'm not some charity case. I don't need him feeling sorry for me._ Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes tightly, waiting for the day to end.

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><p>The sound of footsteps sounded from underneath Ivan's feet as he trudged down the sidewalk after a long, exasperating day. He could feel his injured leg giving out beneath him with every step he took. Pain coursed through his veins as he was about to give up and hit down in the middle of the pavement; but decided against it. It would only be worse when he tried to get up.<p>

Without warning, he felt fragile arms lace around his waist, causing his entire body to tense. Only Natalia did that. Panic began to take over, his breath hitching in his throat, while his body shut down. He could finally breath after hearing that whiny, feminine voice.

"Hey, meat head, you still mad at me?" The grip around his stomach tightened slightly before going limp, the appendages falling back down to Feliks's side as he made his way beside Ivan. Not even giving him the time of day, Ivan continued walking, if not faster than before. He was really in no mood to talk to the blonde, for the conversations always ended in him wanted to decapitate a poor, defenceless kitten. The silence urged the Pole to continue, "I don't really know what I did, but like, I'm sorry?"

"If you don't know what you did, you cannot be sorry, da?" His voice wasn't exactly cool; but it wasn't warm, either. He could feel a scowl chiseling itself into his pale features. The two walked in silence for what seemed like eternity before Feliks stopped him with a large embrace. When Feliks pulled away, he was pouting slightly.

"Well, I guess this is my turn. If you decide you wanna like, talk, just call me, 'kay?" Without another word, he left the scene completely, leaving Ivan standing frozen in the middle of the sidewalk like an idiot, as a pink tinge painted his cheeks.

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><p><strong>Happy belated Valentines Day, everyone. I hope you enjoyed.<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm quite sorry for not updating sooner. I have kind of been sidetracked with school, and new ideas for fanfictions keep popping into my head, making me want to write them. So, now I have like, four fanfictions on the go. I'm not going to go into detail about what they are in case I don't finish them, or get around to posting them. That way the only person who is disappointed is me. **

**Anyways, on with the story, and thanks for sticking with me.**

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><p>Stopping in front of his closet door, Ivan stared at the peeling paint before taking a deep breath and opening his closet. Without another thought, he bent down and picked up the dented cardboard box he had received earlier that day. He slowly removed the lid and let his fingers dance around on the smooth fabrics. A small sigh escaped the large Russian before he replaced the lid, put the box back in the closet and ran a large hand through his ash-blonde hair. Slowly closing the closet door, he moved to sit down on his cot. From there, he let his eyes flutter closed as he sat in absolute silence.<p>

It wasn't long before the beloved silence was interrupted by yelling from the streets below. Most likely another street fight between gangs - something Ivan always had to take initiative in and stop before it got wildly out of control.

Standing up, Ivan made his way over to his crusty window to see who was fighting. He let out an exasperated sigh as realized that he had never seen these two gangs before. _Probably not even a gang, but rather neighbours getting into an argume-_ his train of thought was cut off when he got a better look at some of the participants. They looked oddly familiar..

His eyes narrowed as the faces came into focus. They had been members of Alfred's gang. The ones who had attacked Feliks. A growl rose from Ivan's throat as he stormed out of his apartment, and down the hallway. _Some people never learn, do they? Those guys have a lot of nerve to show up here, again._ Ivan's mind screamed in anger. They had picked a very bad day to start a street fight, for Ivan was furious. He didn't care the consequences, he would decapitate those thugs and feed them to the wild dogs. He clenched and unclenched his hands repeatedly as he neared the front door of the building.

Without another thought, he flung the front door open with a rather loud _slam, _causing some of the members engaged in the fight to jump and stop what they were doing to stare at him. He cracked his knuckles before grabbing one of the thugs by the front of his shirt, and throwing him down to the ground. He smashed his foot onto the man's ribcage before looking around at the other men.

"You thugs will never learn, will you? I thought after your leader was sent to the hospital after engaging in a fist fight with me, you would stay away from here, but you are obviously lacking common sense, da?" He may have been wearing a childish smile but his voice was laced with malice and hate. "Since you did not understand my original warning, I'll have to make you pay, won't I?" Ivan removed his foot from the man's chest before taking a step towards the rest of the group, only to have them take a step back. His sweet smile was replaced by a loud snarl as he continued to make his way towards the idiots. It was rather amusing to see their angry composure crumbling to reveal their fear. It only motivated Ivan more. He lunged forward and grabbed one of the Johns by his arm, yanking him towards the Russian. The thug began to thrash about, throwing random punches but they were not very affective. Without another thought, Ivan picked up the squirming thug and threw him towards his friends, knocking a few over in the process. "Get out of here, and don't come back." he spat. The gang members on the ground scrambled to their feet and followed Ivan's orders, leaving the fuming Russian behind.

He let out a small sigh before running a rough hand through his hair. Keeping the peace around his neighbourhood was always so much excess work. It was like they were just asking to get thrown around like a ragdoll. He'd never understand people.

With yet another sigh, Ivan reluctantly made his way back into the building.

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><p>"So, I like, heard about your fight with those douchebags." Feliks said, crossing his arms across his chest in annoyance as he stood in front of Ivan, who was currently eating his lunch on the roof of Gakuen Academy. Feliks had just so happened to 'find' him up there, although it was obvious he had followed the Russian.<p>

Without giving him much recognition, Ivan continued to eat his sandwich while the blonde boy tapped his foot impatiently on the cement. After a few moments, the Russian swallowed and sighed.

"Da, what about it?"

"When will you learn that like, nothing good comes from picking fights? You're like, going to get seriously injured one of these days."

"I'm not worried." Ivan said nonchalantly, shifting in his spot on the ground in futile attempts to get comfortable. He had ended up pulling a muscle in his back from throwing the guy the other day, but there was no way he'd let Feliks know of his injury, especially if he was making such a big deal about it.

"Well you should be, meathead! What if they like, come at you with a knife?" He was all but yelling at this point, obviously frustrated at Ivan's lack of concern on the matter. Did he not care what happened to him or was he just extremely narcissistic?

"I can handle it."

"Just like how you handled your sister when she like, attacked you?" Alright, that one was a low blow, and Feliks realized that; but Ivan needed to understand that he couldn't handle everything. Said Russian suddenly stood up, eyes filled with anger as he took a step towards the Pole.

"You do not mention that incident." He spat, his voice thick with anger "That is a completely different circumstance for Natalia is my sister, I'd never be able to harm her – unlike those disgusting cretins." The sound of footsteps echoed through the air before being cut off by a loud slam. Feliks looked down at his feet and sighed.

"Why won't he realize that I'm only like, freaking out 'cause I care about him?" he muttered before exiting the roof, as well.

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><p><em>How could he bring up my sister like that? <em>Ivan snarled in his mind as he stormed down the stairs before re-entering the building. First Feliks was worrying about him like he was some child and now he dared to bring up his little sister? Sure, he was trying to prove his point but he didn't need to go down that road. It was more than mildly uncalled for. Still, Ivan couldn't get himself to be truly mad at the blonde, something inside of him wouldn't let him, though he couldn't quite grasp what it was.

People stepped out of his way as he stomped down the hall. He wasn't exactly sure where he was going; but as long as it was away from Feliks, he would be fine with it. At least, that's what the aching feeling in his chest told him.

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><p>Ivan left the building in a huff. No body had dared to stop him from taking his leave. He could hear the students murmur his name among their conversation. If it had been any other time, he would have stopped what he was doing, and threatened them to quit speaking about him in such a manner; but his anger drove him forward. The pain in his chest told him to go anywhere but there.<p>

After a good ten minutes of swift walking, Ivan found himself in front of an ice cream shop. Oddly enough, just the sight of the building made him crave the frozen dairy product. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a few bills, making sure he had enough, before entering the store. He ordered the largest ice cream he could afford and sat down at one of the small tables before digging in. He took a large scoop of the raspberry ice cream and shoved it into his mouth. The instant the delicious desert slipped down his throat, his mood began to lighten. _I know understand why females drown themselves in ice cream when they are upset. It certainly does make you feel better.._ Ivan thought as he spooned another chunk of ice cream into his mouth, his anger sizzling away all together. So when the bell above the entrance rung and someone sat at his table, he didn't give any thought to it, he just continued to eat the treat.

"Having fun, there?" a voice lulled him out of his trance. He looked up to see red eyes, filled with amusement, staring back at him. He flopped back into his chair and crossed his arms.

"What do you want, Gilbert?" he asked warily. Gilbert let out a quiet chuckle.

"What, I can't join a big brute like you in an ice cream shop?" Ivan gave him a hard stare. "If you must know, there were no other seats." he paused before letting out another laugh. "You should be honoured to have the awesome me make your acquaintance!" Ivan was about to take his leave; but what Gilbert said next stopped him. "So how's your tranny boyfriend? I didn't expect you of all people to be as straight as a curly fry."

"What did you just say?" He spat. Gilbert took the rest of Ivan's ice cream and began eating it for himself before replying.

"Are you hard of hearing? I asked how your transgendered boyfriend was." Gilbert said as if it was the most normal, unoffensive thing. Ivan's eye twitched as he balled his fists.

"He is not my boyfriend." He hissed through clenched teeth.

"Kesesese, but you want him to be." Ivan went to grab his collar but he swiftly dodged the attack. "Getting defensive are we?" He teased.

"Shut up or I will _make_ you shut up!" Ivan all but yelled. He didn't care if he was making a scene, the idiotic Prussian was pushing all of his buttons and he wouldn't take that sitting down.

"Ooh, I'm so scared~" Gilbert mocked. He opened his mouth to say more but was abruptly cut off by the heavyset Russian tackling him over the table. The two fell to the ground with a _thud_, Ivan's hands instantly wrapping themselves around the albino's throat, and began throttling him.

"I told you to shut up!" He was screaming at this point. His whole body was shaking in anger as he shook the Prussian violently. There were loud gasps and some screams from other customers as the scene began to unfold. Gilbert desperately tried to remove Ivan's large hands from his neck as he squirmed beneath his massive body. Ivan removed one of his hands from the man's neck and began punching him repeatedly. He didn't care where as long as he left a mark. Gilbert's face contorted in pain as he tried his hardest to hold in his groans of pain. There was no way he'd give Ivan the satisfaction he wanted.

Gilbert was just about to pass out from lack of air when the large man was suddenly removed from his body. He inhaled sharply and began coughing. _Oh, sweet air!_ He thought.

He could hear sirens in the distance; but they appeared to be fading, as well as the rest of the world. Soon enough, everything went black.

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><p>Ivan had been having so much fun causing Gilbert pain when he was tackled off of the albino by a police officer. He didn't have much time to think before his hands where bound behind his back by hand cuffs.<p>

He was escorted to the police car by the two officers while Gilbert was taken by the paramedics. Ivan was seated awkwardly in the backseat, since he was too large to fit the proper way. He let out an exasperated sigh as they drove towards the police station. What would Feliks say when he found out? No, he would not let himself think of that dreaded cross dresser.

Once the car had reached the police office, Ivan was removed from the vehicle and brought to a cell, where he was to stay for the night so they could decipher what to do with him, or what his punishment would be. When the officer asked him if he would like a phone call, the Russian paled. He had no one to call except for Natalia, who would never be able to bail him out, especially since she was still furious with him, and Feliks. He contemplated saying, "no" before he finally gave in and sighed, reluctantly accepting the offer.

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><p>"How could you like, do that? Are you like, a total idiot?" Feliks all but screeched as they exited the police office. Ivan was trailing a few feet behind the blonde, rubbing his sore wrists, sheepishly. The blonde halted to a stop and turned to face the Russian, arms crossed over top his chest. He was fuming. "Answer me!"<p>

Ivan let out a small groan before glaring at Feliks. "I had my reasons." he grumbled.

"And like, what were those, huh? They better be damned good ones." Ivan looked towards the ground and mumbled incoherent words. "Speak louder." Feliks ordered. Ivan looked up from the ground only to stare straight into the blonde's emerald eyes.

"He was insulting you." Feliks' face began to soften as the words wormed their way into his head. He uncrossed his arms and gave Ivan a gentle hug.

"You really are an idiot." He mumbled into Ivan's chest. Ivan looked down at the blonde boy that was currently clinging to him and sighed, hesitantly wrapping his own arms around the boy's frail body, and rested his head atop of Feliks'.

They stood there in silence for what seemed like eternity.

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><p><strong>Yup, there you have it. <strong>

**I had to stop while writing the ice cream scene 'cause I started craving it myself. Derp.**

**Please review.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm a little upset by the statistics for this story. It's gotten 2000+ hits so far, and only 12 reviews. Reviews are what motivate me to continue writing. If I know my work is being appreciated, I'll want to continue. **

**Just saying. ||OTL**

**Also, I have great(?) news! We're nearing an end to this story, so you'll finally know what happens between Popo and Russia. /slap'd**

**I'm thinking maybe one or two more chapters after this one, depending on how far I get.**

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><p>Ever since the mishaps with Gilbert, it had actually been quite peaceful for the Russian. With Alfred hospitalized, his little sister mourning, and Gilbert gaining a new found fear of him, there was nothing to get in Ivan's way of relaxation – except Feliks, that is.<p>

"Ivan~" Feliks skipped down the linoleum-tiled floor towards the Russian, a huge smile plastered on his face. After finding out that Ivan cared enough to attack someone on his behalf, Feliks had become a lot more clingy. He had the strange idea that the two were friends. Completely absurd, right?

Ivan let out a small sigh before shutting his locker and turning to the giddy blonde.

"Da?"

"You're like, coming over to my house after school, right?"

"What?"

"Yeah, you were like, coming over to my house. It'll be totally fabulous."

"Nyet." Ivan said, before turning away and starting down the hall.

"Aw, c'mon, Ivan. Don't be like that." Feliks whined, following close behind. "Besides, you like, promised! I got a new pony that you tots have to see. He's so adorable." Feliks then started to make horse impersonations to try and show Ivan what he was missing out on, thoroughly embarrassing the Russian as others began to take notice.

"Fine-! Just stop." Ivan half-yelled, turning his head towards the Pole.

"Yay!" Feliks clapped his hands together in excitement. "Wanna know what will make it even better?"

"Not really." Ivan sighed. Feliks leaned closer to his face so that his breath could be felt against Ivan's neck.

"My parents won't be home~" He whispered lustrously. Ivan felt heat rise to his cheeks in generous amounts. Did Feliks mean for that to sound as sexual as it did? He hoped to God that he didn't. He swallowed thick before shaking the thought out of his head.

"Whatever." Ivan choked, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible because the thought didn't turn him on in the slightest. No, of course not. That would be absurd. Completely, utterly absurd, for Ivan wasn't gay, nor would he ever be gay. So what if he had never had feelings for a girl, he'd never had feelings for a guy, either. He had come to the conclusion that he was just incapable of feeling love, and nothing had changed. He was still the same heartless being as everyone accused him of being.

He wasn't sure how Feliks had reacted to his sudden coldness towards him, he just kept walking, feeling nothing but numbness as it spread through his system.

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><p>It was lunch, but Ivan couldn't eat. Even with skipping breakfast, and dinner the night before, he just couldn't get himself to eat. Something was twisting inside his chest, something he couldn't quite understand. <em>Did it have something to do with what Feliks said?<em> Ivan asked himself, leaning his head against the hard brick of the school walls. _Or is it because Feliks has feelings for me? And what exactly are those feelings?_ He was so confused. So confused and frustrated at not being able to understand what was going on in his head, in his chest.

He let out a small sigh, deciding that it was best to not fret over what he didn't understand and try to move on. It had always worked before, so why not now?

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><p>"Hurry up, slowpoke!" Feliks ordered from five feet away, on the verge of running to his house in excitement. Ivan couldn't comprehend what was so invigorating about going over to someone's house. Despite his confusion, a small smile crept onto his lips as he began to quicken his pace, shoving his large hands into the front pockets of his tan trench coat. A small cloud of condensation circled his face as he let out a content sigh.<p>

The rest of the walk to Feliks consisted of the blonde yelling at the Russian to move faster, with Ivan reluctantly complying. When the blonde boy flung his front door open and practically skipped into the room, Ivan couldn't help the small wave of nervousness that was running through him. Feliks had said they'd be alone to do whatever the wanted, and the lust hidden in his voice only left the Russian wondering on what the Pole's true intentions were. He hated to admit it, but it made him horribly uncomfortable.

Feliks motioned for Ivan to follow him up the stairs – to his bedroom, no doubt. The thought of what could happen any moment was disturbing yet, shamefully enticing, although Ivan downright refused to admit it.

Once entering the blonde's room – which consisted of pink walls, and multiple pictures of ponies – Feliks turned around with a smile plastered on his face. Ivan sat uncomfortably on the large king-sized bed, which the Pole following suit.

"So," Feliks prodded, "What'cha wanna do first." He asked, leaning in closer. Ivan felt himself shifting ever-so-slightly in the opposite direction.

"You wanted to show me your pony, da?"

"Yeah," he pouted, "But that can wait, can't it?"

"I don't think-" Ivan was abruptly cut off of his protests when soft pale lips dusted across his. His startled amethyst eyes came in contact with lust-filled emerald ones, only enticing Feliks more. He leaned in, closing the gate between the too. Ivan let out a muffled cry as he tried to pull away, but his body wouldn't co-operate. Instead, he found himself returning the kiss, if not, deepening slightly. Feliks took the opportunity to run his hands though the Russian's ash-blonde strands, twisting his fingers around them. Slowly, he slid himself into the large man's lap, straddling his hips as he ran a smooth tongue along Ivan's bottom lip. When Ivan gasped in surprise, Feliks took the opportunity to invade the former's mouth with his slick appendage, running it over every crevice, tasting every area of the hot cavern he had access to. Ivan sat there, stiff and wide-eyed, unsure of how he should react to the man penetrating his mouth. Feliks rubbed his tongue against Ivan's as if encouraging him to take part in the passion.

Finally giving in to the overpowering feeling taking over him, Ivan allowed himself to reciprocate the kiss, moving his tongue alongside Feliks' and fighting for dominance. Slowly, the two disconnected, a trail of saliva hung between the two as they panted for air. Without hesitation, Feliks leaned back in, attacking the Russian's mouth as he pushed him down onto the bed. Confused, Ivan complied, overwhelmed yet slightly turned on. _What is going on? What is this pounding in my chest, and why can't I get myself to move? I don't want to do this! I can't do this!_ His mind screamed, yet his body stayed in place as he passionately kissed the Pole. He felt nimble fingers begin to work on the buttons of his trench coat as Ivan helplessly laid there, incapable of reacting properly. He wanted to stop, he wanted to stop so badly but something inside of him willed him further. He shoved one of his hands under the blonde's shirt letting his rough fingers glide over the surprisingly toned chest. _No!_ His mind screamed, desperate to stop.

In one swift moment, Ivan managed to push the blonde off of him as he sat up, viciously wiping his mouth. Feliks looked at him, the hurt obvious in his expression.

"Like, what's wrong-?"

"Everything!" Ivan yelled, standing up, "I can't do this! I don't-" Ivan's mind raced for the right thing to say, he was so confused, yet so upset about letting that happen. "I don't love you." he muttered quietly, fingering the doorknob. In an instant, the door slammed shut behind the heavyset Russian as he descended the stairs and raced out the front door.

To Feliks, those words stung like a knife.

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><p>For weeks Ivan refused to make any form of contact with the Pole. He had skipped a week of school, and when he finally decided to return, he had not once given Feliks as much as a small side-glance. It was deteriorating his insides. He felt like he was about to explode from the pain in his chest.<p>

All he wanted to do was love Ivan.

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><p>Everyday Ivan would walk down the halls in pain. He didn't understand what the reason was, but his chest ached whenever he saw that blonde male in the halls. He refused to look at him, for when he did, the pain only grew. His mind continuously raced as his heart pounded in his ears. He was so confused. How could one man make him feel like that? Especially one he didn't care for?<p>

Was there something wrong with him, or just something that he was incapable of comprehending? Ivan was determined to find out.

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><p><strong>What smoke was I cracking?<strong>

**I honestly have no idea where this came from.**

**I was in a weird angsty mood. **

**I find this very repetitive. **

**I'll probably edit it tomorrow, but for now, I'll upload it raw. **

**Oh yeah, and sorry it's short. I didn't know how else to continue this chapter, but I have an idea about what will happen in the next!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello, this is the last chapter!**

**What will happen?**

**Will Ivan understand what the feeling that is taking over him is?**

**Will he accept it if he does?**

**And what happens between him and Feliks?**

**It will all be settled right here, right now! **

**It's time to r-r-r-r-rumble! /pipe'd**

**Also, in reply to Zexion-Demyx, (I'm a Zemyx fan, too, by the way.) I didn't mean to make Ivan uke-ish! /fails**

**He is just supposed to be confused, meanwhile Feliks isn't and wants Ivan to reciprocate those feelings. He was just being assertive to get what he wants. Maybe.**

**Yeah, that's my excuse.**

**TROLOLOLOL /corners**

**Disclaimer; I don't own Hetalia, if I did, it would be full of crack, yaoi and gore.**

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><p>"<em>Get away from me, you faggot!" <em>

_Ivan was kneeling on the pavement, his face in his hands as the albino boy loomed over him, his fists clenched by his side. Beside the two sat a crumpled box topped with a red ribbon._

_For over a year, the Russian had had a large crush on Gilbert Beilschmidt, an albino German exchange student in his class. He finally decided to take a leap of faith and confess to the German about his feelings – which Gilbert didn't appreciate in the least. He had become so enraged, continuously yelling that he wasn't a "stupid cocksucker" or a "faggot", that he actually punched Ivan square in the jaw, sending him toppling over by the force behind the impact. _

_All Ivan wanted to do was express his feelings for Gilbert, not once thinking that there was anything wrong with liking the same gender but according to the albino, it was some sort of deadly disease or something. _

"_You're disgusting!" Gilbert spat, kicking Ivan in the side before walking over to the discarded box the Russian had offered him. "And no way am I going to accept anything from a homo!" he stomped on the box before picking it up and throwing it off into the distance. He watched as Ivan's body began to shake and laughed. "You're so pathetic. Why don't you go run off to your fag friends and leave me the fuck alone?" he suggested before turning on his heel and making his leave. Ivan continued to lie curled up on the pavement as sobs racked his body. From that day forward, he swore never to love anyone again._

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><p>Ivan sat on his bed, his head resting in his knees as he thought about his previous encounter with Feliks. It had been two weeks since their little make-out session, two weeks of ignoring each other, and two weeks of heartache followed by sleepless nights. <em>What is wrong with me? <em>Ivan questioned himself. It had been so long since he allowed him to feel anything for another person, let alone the feelings of longing and desire. He couldn't even begin to fathom what it was about Feliks that made him feel in such a manner. It wasn't like the Pole was necessarily attractive or strong, but yet, there was something about him – something alluring. Whatever it was, Ivan wouldn't allow it get the better of him. He was stronger than this! He wouldn't allow himself to love, no.. he wouldn't allow himself to go through the same broken state that Gilbert had left him in all those years ago. It had taken him so long to finally get out of bed afterwards, he wasn't sure if he'd be that strong this time around. But ignoring Feliks and acting as if they hated each other left Ivan feeling empty inside. He missed seeing his smile, hearing his voice – even watching him try on skirts! There was some strange form of satisfactory hidden behind those actions – satisfactory that Ivan was deprived of.

Sighing loudly, Ivan stood up and made his way towards his front door. Maybe some fresh air would help get his mind off of things. If not then he could always smuggle some vodka from a black market and drink his problems away. That had been his source of relief for many years, after all. Ever since his father kicked him out of the house at a young age of 9, he had needed something to relieve his anger. He had tried self-mutilation but found it only made him angry with himself. After that, he had tried to destroy things. While that had worked for a few months, it didn't seem like enough. Before he knew it, Ivan had become more and more involved with drinking and street fights.

Natalia had always persisted to come over to see Ivan but Katyusha would tell her that visiting him would affect his health. While Natalia thought that Ivan was physically sick, Katyusha knew of Ivan's drinking. She knew that he was mentally sick and having their ... assertive little sister pester him while he was unstable would not be good for either of them.

By drinking, Ivan had managed to create a barrier between his sisters and himself. Before his father kicked him out, they were a normal family. The three siblings loved each other as well as their parents. What Ivan had done to be cast away was unbeknownst to him.

As he turned the corner, he could see the school in the distance. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a paper blowing in the wind and quickly made his way over to catch it. When he managed to pick it up, be blinked in surprise. It had been a flier for prom.

"Feliks had been really looking forward to this night..." Ivan whispered to himself, smiling sadly. "He talked about it all the time..." After a few moments of blankly staring at the paper, the Russian crumpled it in his hands. He would not let something like this haunt him – no, he knew what he had to do. Throwing the paper on the ground, he shoved his hands in the pockets of his thick tan trench coat before trudging down the street. Tonight he would make everything right.

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><p>As the music blared, Feliks sat with Toris at one of the many tables. He was dressed in a (fabulous) sequined pink suit with a sit dress shirt and white loafers. He had wanted to wear his favourite dress but Toris insisted otherwise. Staring down at the table, he stirred his drink with his index finger as he rambled on about this and that. Toris sighed quietly to himself as he tried to drone out the blond.<p>

"Why is he like.. such a jerk? Like, what did I do wrong! I though he like, liked me!" Feliks huffed. "And now I can't even like, have the best night of my life because he's not here. I have been dreaming of this night since the beginning of the year, but now it's ruined! Life is so totally unfair!"

"Feliks... I'm sure that it's not you. Ivan was probably going through some rough times and couldn't handle the pressure." Toris reasoned.

"Are you like, defending him?"

"No, I'm just saying he probably had a good reason for his actions. Even if he didn't, you should have known what you were getting into. Ivan Braginsky is not someone you want to be associated with. He's very dangerous and can cause you a lot of trouble."

"That's because you haven't like, gotten to know him like I have!" Feliks countered angrily.

"You don't know anything about him. You've known him for a year and I've know him since fourth grade. I promise you, there is nothing good about him." Toris said. He wasn't trying to be mean, he was just worried about his friend's safety. He didn't want Feliks to end up like Alfred or Gilbert.

"You're wrong!"

"Feliks, do you not remember what he did to Alfred? He put him in a coma, and he almost strangled Gilbert inside of an ice cream shop. You had to bail him out of jail! Oh, and don't forget how I had to patch him up after he got himself into a knife fight."

"I'm sure he had a good reason to attack Alfred. As for strangling Gilbert, he like, did it for me! He's really not as bad as you like, make him out to be!" Feliks cried.

"Now who's defending him?" Toris raised his eyebrow as Feliks slumped into his chair. "Look Feliks," he tried again, his voice quiet and soothing. "I know that you like him but I just don't want you to get hurt. You can do a lot better."

"Says the one who's in love with a psychopath." Feliks retorted, scowling a little.

"Natalia is not a psychopath! She's... assertive."

"Assertive people don't like, attack others with knives for no reason."

"She doesn't attack people for no reason!"

"You've asked her out and ended up with all your fingers broken."

"That wasn't for no reason!"

"Then what was the reason, hm? That you liked her?"

"Yes?" Feliks scoffed.

"So you're allowed to like someone who is batshit crazy, but I'm not like, allowed to like someone who's just a little misguided? To be fair, Ivan's probably the way he is because he's had to live with a freak like her."

"Or maybe Natalia is _assertive_ because she's had to live with someone like Ivan." Toris snapped. Feliks narrowed his emerald eyes at the brunette seated across from him. Sure, Ivan was a little misguided when it came to expressing himself, but he wasn't dangerous. The Pole wouldn't stand to listen to someone who is in love with a person such as Natalia to try and tell him otherwise. It wasn't like Toris had the right to talk, so he should really mind his own business. Sighing to himself, Feliks crossed his arms. _Sure, Ivan isn't exactly Prince Charming but doesn't mean he's like, evil. Oh.. what have I done to deserve this?_

"Ivan?" Toris spoke in disbelief. Instantly, Feliks snapped his head to his side to see the large Russian standing before him with an awkward smile on his face.

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><p>"I can do this.. I can do this." Ivan motivated himself as he walked towards the school building. During his walk over, he was afraid that his nerves would get the best of him and he would back out. He soon realized that he couldn't run away from his problems forever. There was only so much he could drink before he put himself into an alcohol-induced comatose. "No, I need to do this."<p>

Taking a deep breath, Ivan made his way up the front stairs and placed a hand on the cool metal of a doorknob. With silent encouragement, he opened the door and walked inside. Stuffing his hands in the pockets on his black slacks, he took small steps towards the gymnasium. Once he was standing outside the doors, he stopped.

"This is it, Ivan, make it count." Without another word, the Russian quietly slipped into the large crowd of dancing couples, trying to blend in as he searched around for Feliks. _I feel ridiculous!_ He sneered as he pushed his way past those who stopped what they were doing just to stare at him.

Catching sight of that beautiful blonde hair, Ivan cautiously made his way towards the table where the bedazzled Pole was seated. Across from him sat Toris, who seemed to be arguing with him about something. Taking a deep breath, the Russian casually approached the table just as Feliks slumped forward in his seat. Ivan stopped just a few feet away from the table as Toris looked up at him, disbelief written over every feature in his face.

"Ivan?" Toris managed, his eyes widening slightly. Almost instantly, Feliks' head shot up so he was looking at Ivan, who was smiling awkwardly back. _Well.. what now?_ The Russian wondered as Feliks continued to stare at him. _Maybe try and talk to him..? But what would I say? I should have figured this out before I came..._

"Feliks –"

"We need to talk." The blonde interrupted, standing from his seat before giving Toris a curt nod and walking towards one of the desolate corners of the gym. Once they reached their destination, Feliks turned on his heels and crossed his arms, glaring at the man in front of him. "Like, what are you doing here?"

"I came here to talk to you." Ivan replied sheepishly. _I actually don't know what I'm doing here.. _

"Well, here I am. What is it?" Feliks asked impatiently, tapping his right foot on the linoleum floor.

"I wanted to apologize... for everything. You didn't deserve to be treated like that, it's just that I –" Once again, Ivan was interrupted, but this time by the abrupt music change. A slow melody made it's way into his ears as Feliks took his hand and began leading him towards the dance floor. After stopping, Ivan pulled his hand away.

"I can't dance." He said flatly.

"Take my hand, I'll teach you to dance. If you let me lead, you can step on my feet." He said softly. "And you can finish explaining why you were such an ass." He added. Hesitantly, Ivan gave in and took Feliks' hand before getting into an awkward position. After being instructed on the steps, Ivan was encouraged to continue what he was saying beforehand.

"Right.. I know that I treated you incorrectly, and I truly am sorry, I just – I didn't want to be hurt again. When I was younger, I had feelings for someone and he... he left me feeling broken. He took my feelings for him as an insult and left me beaten up on the pavement. I didn't want to experience that pain again so instead I.. I hurt you. I know it's not an excuse and I –" Soft lips connected with rough ones as Feliks leaned forward in a kiss. After a moment, the two separated, leaving Ivan in shock.

"You're right, it's like, not an excuse, but rather a reason – a reason that I understand." he smiled softly.

Slowly, Ivan began to smile back.

"I know that I have my flaws, but..." he paused, seeming unsure. Noticing this, Feliks placed his hand on the side of Ivan's face, giving it a soft small stroke.

"I'm willing to put up with your flaws if you like, put up with mine." After receiving a hasty nod, Feliks leaned into Ivan's chest, whispering, "I love you, Ivan."

Everything slowed down. All Ivan could focus on was the warm in his arms and the erratic beating in his chest. So many thoughts where going through his head at a kilometre a second. Desperately, he tried to sort out what he was thinking before it finally hit him. Pulling the blonde closer to his chest, he raised his chin so the Pole was looking him straight in the eye.

"I love you too, Feliks."

The two shared a passionate kiss as they continued to dance in each others' arms as if they were the only two in the world.

For once, Ivan was truly happy, and he wouldn't change anything about it for the world.

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><p><strong>I'm sorry this took so long. I started it a while back but kind of lost my motivation. I was going through some stressful times and now that I've practically had my heart broken, I was able to write this. It seems I can only write when I'm saddepressed.**

**Weird.**

**Anyways, this is the end. It's been fun!**

**I (hopefully) have some projects coming up soon, so stay tuned for those. **

**Thank you guys so much for sticking with this story and my B.S, I really appreciate it!**

**Da sveedaneeya.**


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